U make me smiles, u make me sad,
u make me laugh , u make me cried ,
u make me feels like I am the only happy girl in this world , u make me feels the pain tht u put me through ,
u make me feels I am at the top of the mountain , u make me feel down the hill,
u make me to fogive u when u did wrong , u make me as if im reaching the limit to let u go ,
u make me think there is no other option , u make me think twice,
u make me wake up from my sleep and realised tht I am living in a reality where I am in love with the only man which is u, Rahim mohd.

When I first met u , I said to myself , with a person like u , I dnt think I can hold on for so long. But god is fair , trying to prove tht wht ppl tought will not always right without his permission. Bcse everything tht happen has already been wrote by him. Through ups and downs , we have been through alot of things together . The time past by too fast , and I can't believe tht we have already pass our 1 year moment . The truth , we have alot more to learn and to understand each other better. So , I hope we can make it for another year.

As u knw , I'll always love u even we always fight and my heart almost can't be fixed with wht u had done to me but the truth , ur love is so strong and I can't stop from loving u. Thnks for being there for me . I love you , sayang.

HAPPY 1ST YEAR ANNIVESSARY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

I've been blessed with beautiful friends . Eventhough it was a simple celebration , I really appreciate it and I am happy with it. When the taught is there , everything tht happen will make u smile . Thanks people , u knw tht I always love you and no matter wht I will be hold on to it as long as I can .

Well , I am now turning 19th . No more 18-ish , so kiddy . My birthday went well but not as great as if Rahim could join us celebrating it with me. But I couldn't denied tht if it happen without my friends, it will be worst . Cse they were always with me through ups and downs. Anyway ,I was kinda upset , I couldn't hold up my tears . I was never stop wishing for my boi to come back , came up all out of sudden on my door and surprise me but for god sake, it won't happen cse hes thousand miles away . It is suck when ur special person in ur life are are not with u on ur special day and it was even ur first year annivessary . Too bad , I couldn't ask for more , I have to face it . So please baby, make sure u make me feels like I am the special girl ever in the world when u come back here .

Last but not least, once again , thnkyou for all those who wished and I really appreciate it. Thnks for making my day like Im the only happy person in the world. Love u guys :)

Transform

BEFORE

AFTER

At last i've cut my hair after so long wanting it. I din't regret cse it something new after had a same old style of hair :)

Anyway , final exam had already started. Arghh, my first Business Communication paper was being an ass to me. Im so gonna get low mark for it. Oh god, pls not. Tmoro will be my last paper :) Organisation Behaviour paper pls be nice to me. I hope I can do it , wish me luck :)

I am missing you

Its hard for me to let him go ystrdy. I was speechless and have know idea on what we’re trying to talk about. When we sat in the car , we were like a statue, got nothing to say and the truth, I won’t be able to look at his face even for a second. Bcse I knw if I did it , the tears won’t stop falling down. Yes I know, its only for few days. Its not that he went away for a month or a year but I just don’t know why my feelings turns to be that way. Come on Lena, its only 4 days, it isn’t tht long tho . I realised tht but hey, tht is not the problem man. It just sad to know that ure byfren are not gonna be around on ur coming special day. It is in another 2 days and he left.

Honestly , I really want him to be with me on this Friday but tht is so impossible, Im telling you here. I thought he will be around celebrating with me for the second time, on the second year, on our first year anni but it turns the other way around . Wake up Lena, u just have to accept the fact . Its not tht U dnt have anybody around to celebrate with. Yeah im chilling right now………cool man cool.

Oh boy, I just wanna see u on the day u landed here and it is a MUST . The truth , I am the one who scared if I will be the one who couldn’t make it , hmm. Bismillah , I hope I can make it ;’)

Take care ,I Love You sayang <3

bitter heart

Never thought those words will come out frm the one tht I really loves for almost past a year. A person who could think of me in that way, after all ? He was the first person who ever spilt those words right infront of my face. The person who I love and nvr thought of hearing those word from his mouth, and just done that. Ur sarcasm glanced was awful enough. My heart totally stop beating , im running out of tears. Now, the only things tht left, was only a piece of my bitter heart. Say wht ever u want, cse every word tht u said will nvr bring any changes to me anymore. That's wht I thought when the last time we're argued, u promised me all over again. I've already knw u will break it but I just dnt knw why, I still let u in but honestly, I've never hold on to ur words since tht day. Don't u blame the statement of 'misunderstanding'.

I might not knw u well, but any miny tiny things tht I knw abt u will always be right.

well-day

Im on my bed, so exhausted. After sleeping very early on every each day of this week , now I feel so tired when its already 12 o'clock and I am still not sleep.

Well, I really spend my week with him after I've been left alone by him fr the entire of last week. So yeah, I lock him fr a lil while to really spend my time with him. Today, my class got cancel. It sucks to knw tht after I rushed myself to college and found out the class was cancel. I was so pissed and somemore it was such a hot weather just now. I was actually thought tht I hve to wait for Mai till her class finish but I dnt hve too. So I proceed with my plan to One Utama with my love. When we early and without plan , we starts to walk arnd until we dnt knw where to go. Sucks to knw tht, till nw I dnt really remember places in OU -.-'

Anyway we watched Fast & Furious 5. It was totally awesome. No movie can beat tht ! It is just too good to describe. U guys just have to watch it cse its really worth it. When u watch once, I bet, u will go for twice :)

Im really tired tho, need to sleep and take a long rest. Goodnight :)

Genting Highland, 2011

After so long i've been asking for it. Yeahh at last we made it. I love you baby :)

Bagan Lalang, Sepang
Sunday evening. A lovely gathering, after its been quite hard to get everybody going out at the same time due to each other commitment towards their own life. Love ya girls.

Exam on last Friday did not went well. I was just so careless for not bringing my exam slip with me. Almost reach MSU, and I have to go all the way back home for the slip. I almost can't sit fr the exam since I was kind a late but I was so lucky the examiner was being fair enough towards me. I sat on my chair, I was so nervous cse it was my first time being late for exam . Everything on the table dropped down. Oh come on, the table is so small to put all my thangggs. The examiner came to me and said : Chill laa, jgn gelabah sgt kalau msk lmbt pn. I wasss likee, tutttttt.............. Zzz -.-' Anyway , 1 and a half hour wasn't enough , knowing me . Haih, so I kinda screwed up my first exam for my midsem. Urghhh , I was so frustrated knowing tht I can do so much better.

Everything tht happen on tht day and the day bfre was just a like a dissaster to me.

I dnt knw where abt to begin. It such a long waiting. Cse I knw, by not seing u, the biggest disaster will happen. I've been wondering ages ago, why must this kind of things will kept repeating. When u walked out the door, only god knows how I feel. It just like a meat tht has been cut into pieces. U nvr did tht bfre, and its hard fr me to believe tht ure doing it. A night tht I couldn't accept anymore. I tend to leave and I did. The first time ever, I had the gut to let the sentence come out frm the mouth but the truth it was not truly frm the heart. Its hard for me, really really hard. I really have to do it this time.

As wht I expected, u always came when there is nothing left. The effort will always make me think twice but for god sake, why it always has to be when its already over ? I just want u to be like when u are really showing up ur effort. Cse I really need it. For me, the effort shows everything. U really driving me crazy, and I almost give up which I actually did but god really shows me the path. I rather be alone crying over the thing tht I shouldn't. Why must we run into all the messed over again and kept listening to the promises, and knowing it will not last long. Ppl will always ask, is it worth it after all ? I will be a statue and speechless and also clueless. God, help me.

Sometimes we just have to leave the person we love for good, but when he really looking back for u, he actually needed u in his life.

I'm not running awy frm the problem ,
I am just too tired on fixing it

new routine

Heyyy Good Afternoon.

Its a good date, but its not a good day for me. Well, have to cheer every moment tht passing us by. Life is not always fair, anyhow we tend to be fair. Trying hard to get better moment, but it just hard tho. Things keep changing, that's the problem. When u care, they seems like getting annoyed but when u don't care they goes like , why don't u ask me anymore abt wht am I doing ? Ohgod, life is so pathetic.

Well, I am sort of doing some new routine here fr a healthy life I guess. Oh I started to jog last Monday and it continuously yesterday. Its a good sign, teehee. Farid even taught me how to get rid of the fats arnd my arms. He asked me to have a look at Youtube, so I did since we dnt have a chance to see each other and to teach me that. I've tried it, dammmn it looks so easy but try to do it plsss. Its very tiring tho, I felt like a loser doing it , Zzz. Anyway, I will keep doing the routine till I see any difference towards it.

I was left alone the whole day of yesterday, after jogging I felt asleep with a pretty nice weather. Woke up and shockingly surprised, its alrdy 8pm. So yeah, I cooked and ate my dinner. There's no one accompany me. Thought the rest would come back after 10pm but I see the door doesn't open and even no text. So yeah, cheer myself watching tv till i've got nthng else to watch. Everybody seems busy, so here am I alone waiting fr nothing. Cheering my every moment on the bed till the lullaby get me sleep.

Happy 11th month Annivessary, ure the one who still remains in my heart, and no one else. Doubt it if u want, but deep inside, im loving u sincerely. Note it .

Have a nice day, and dnt make it a worst day just like me. Goodbye.

I wanna go, I wanna go

I am so looking forward for a vacation. I really need it I guess. Hopefully I can make it on June's holiday if only my college is on holiday. Cse some ppl said, my college will be only get hldy fr 1 week which is too short -.-' Hope they were wrong and in return i'll be on 1 month off :) Since I am working , I approximately my budget will be enough for it. So yeah, I still haven't decide where should I go. But but but on July im going to Labuan. Am I gonna have some short of money ? Hrmmmmmmmmmm

working place

So, this me when the boredom strikng. This is my working place, Doll Couture :) Cute isn't ?



Let me tell u something, I am so freaking hungrayy right now and it is so cold here. How can I survive till 10pm ? I actually having an assingment to finish up but urghh , im just not into it. I have to type an essay and I have no brilliant idea right now. So, what should I do now ? Haiyayai. The due date is actually today but I just found out abt it, so yeah , I have to pass it up tomorrow and yet i am still have not start it with a single word at least ? Lalalalalalala

this broadband is pissing me off

This fucking YES broadband is pissing me off. I just dnt knw whts wrong with it but I did topup yesterday, dayyyymmm. I have to start searching my point fr my assingment, so i really really need to use the broadband when im at home. Urggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Well, I am at my working place, onlining using my laptop with wi-fi just to feel good after my broadband acting like shit towards me , wohoooo !

Neway, I finished work at 3pm ystrday cse I need to see my boy. I am jst missing him so badly, so yeahhhh I did meet him ystrday. When I was at my working place, I was so cold and keep complaining tht im dying freezing while the rest keep twittering tht they was dying outside by the freaking hot weather. At tht time, I just can't imagine how hot it can be. Well, going back time, I was one step outside of the entrance of Sunway Pyramid, a bit and a bit of the coldness was taken awy. The hot temperature keep on absorbing into my skin. Oh god, I just realized how thnkful I should be when I was in Sunway hour bfre tht and should not complaining abt the cold-ness. Like seriously, the weather was really trying to kill me. Travelled to KL with the maximum aircond-on, all the way and I still can't really feel the aircond, dusssshhhhhhhhhhhh. Bersabar je yg mampu aku lakukan -.-'

Here we go, reached there and met up my boy. Auww really miss him. We went to Ferrenheit had our lunch and went for window shopping at Pavi. We just like wasting our time walk arnd and appreciate every moment of ours, auwwww. Love u baby !

Yeah mcm ni la bila time baik , syg bagai nak rak, bila dh gaduh, apa pn tkda -.-'

lovely weather

Happy Saturday morning ! I just love the weather, so cold and calm :)

Yeah im at my cribs, loving it. Working at 2pm so I've still have chance to relax fr awhile. Mom is going to Langkawi tmoro fr her work so my Subang's hse gonna be a MAN'S HSE since Kaknah was away and Haris came back fr 4days. Mom gonna be back by Wednesday. Well im gonna stay at Suriamas so I just can't imagine how this hse gonna be in 4 days time. I bet Mama gonna yelling when shes coming back. Lucky me , im not gonna be at home so no yelling at me, yeaaaayyy.

I am just missing my boy. Well he work pretty hard this week. Pity him, hes gonna be tired tho, let him rest then. This week was pretty good I guess, we fought less, anyhow we solve it calmly and not yelling at each other. Hrmm good sign I guess ? Time flies so fast, just can't recall how u managed took my heart awy keep it til now. Even how long we are, I am still having the excited-ness seing u in every each day, hope it stays forever tho.

Maiyayai is away. She went to Bangkok yesterday. I was really forgotten abt her flight, so on Thursday night, I was expected her to be home with me since Fiqa not coming back but I ended up sitting alone at home. I just remember after I got text msg frm her, silly me -.-' Anyway have funn my fren, I knw u gonna shopping till ur jaw drop , haha gonna be impressed with all those stuff there, *hopefully ite ? Gonna miss u, take care along the journey :)

Goodbye Saturday Morning ! :)

awesome-ness

Its been almost 2 weeks I dint post any news. Ive been so busy and no Internet connection makes my life being harder. Anyway let's talk abt the important stuff only, or else , it will be alot to recap.

First of all , I would like to announce that I've alrdy started working, yeah at last after a long searching. It's been 10days I've started working. It is just a small shop selling accessories, Doll Couture. Well the job was pretty easy and flexible enough. My boss was nice , I loiked :) I've got angpaw on my first day frm de boss , cool ite ? Hihi. So far I am quite relaxing with this Job , I've Even got time to study during working hour , awesome huh ? Let's pray that I'll stay longer with this job , wee

Oh so far , I love last week. It just a week that full of kachingg $$. Too bad , it was only last week And not this week , sob . I earn extra income fr being extras in celcom advertisement. It was okay eventhough it was so tiring but we've been given food non stop, so yeah :)

Last night was awesome , SPEEDZONE TOUR 2011. I am so loving it. Had pretty fun time with my girls, my lovely 2 chicks. Eventhough I was pretty messed up with him , but I jst dnt want it to hold my mood just like that . So yeah , I've got my girls and the boys to dance with , so I am happy even the guy that I need the most was not standing by me at all the times , I'm glad I've got my awesome friends. Luckily at the end we get cool tgther, or else I just felt it a waste of time going there tgther when I can be happier when im only with ma frnds. So yeah , we were shooting star like nobody business , I'm glad that it is not wasted for me being there all night long. Jyeahhhh man :)

Anyway , I'm pretty exhausted right now . I've got not enough rest frm yesterday . Penattt nya. I just wanna close the shop ASAP and go back home sleep .Goodbye :)

Illegally

Here i am now, at the OPEN LAB. Haha its my first time, all alone here with some random ppl.

Anyway, there's alot to talk about since I was not online for quite a long time. Okay I am gonna make it short and clear.

Firstly, my bff, Fiqa was away to Indonesia due to last week. Thankgod she flew away with safe and came back with safe too. According to her story, she was so happy along the journey eventhough she had to went through along the bumpy road with quite an old car, and wht so ever but she managed to get to wherever she wants. I feel happy for her when shes feel great on her vacation :) Duhhhh, shopping at Bandung was awesome, and everybody knows that. She bought me a sandal, cute small coin purse, and ciggy frm there. So sweet of u ,my dear and thnks alot cse I am appreciating it :)

Secondly, I was away to JB last Saturday for attending Rahim's sister's wedding. The journey was ran smoothly eventhough we all had to suffered with the hot aircond for more than 5 hours in the bus. Thanks to Mai for made it for me at the last minute or else i'll be dying alone with all those Makcik's, Zeze. Rahim's family was so nice and I really appreciate it. I was kinda awkward at first but I managed to get along with them. But the neighbour which is those Makciks, Oh goddd, they talked like alot likeee really really alot ! Just imagined after a long journey, everybody could be so tired, but the Makciks can be chit-chating fr so long until the sun rise. Magaaaaddd, aren't u guys are quite old and should be tired and sleeping at that kind of hour ? Zeze. Anyway, we managed to go to Danga Bay. The place , errm quite a sweet place. The place was like sitting at the table besides the sea, erm something like that. Quite a romantic place at night, hihi. There is also funfair over there. It could be sweet if we managed to ride on the couple bicycle, cse it seems like so fun riding on it. But the time was running fast, we had to go back early, so saddddd. Rahim being so sweet eventhough I had to make faces at first, but yeah , he bought me the helium love balloon, so happpppyyyyyyy. I was planning to let it go as soon as I reached KL but so sad when the balloon was already shrink by the time when I reach KL :(

Third, it was my annivesary mannn! Damn, I couldn't believe it when this relationship gonna be my longest relationship so far. So many things to deal with but so far I managed to take it slow even alot of heart feeling here and there. Hope tht we could last long together. I just wanna wish u HAPPY 10MONTH ANNIVESARY BABYY :)

Fourth, magaddddd it is the first week of new short sem ! Time is running fast I guess. So happyyyy ! I just can't wait when end of last sem will shoot me on :) Anyway, short sem wasn't tht great since all my good friends at college was not in the same class anymore. It could be boring but the subject was not tht bad. So i guess, I should learn properly and get good result for this sem. Since it is a short sem, its the time for me to concentrate more and get good grade for this sem *cross finger :)

I guess till here will be more than enough , should upload some pictures when I get my lappy soon which is at home , Zeze. Goodbye :)

small kid is always cute

I reached home frm Sentul arnd 6++ just now. Right after that, I was felt asleep. I was kinda tired and woke up arnd 11pm just now after I heard my phone ringing. I feel so fresh since I've got plenty of time for sleep. Anyway, the wedding was ran smoothly just now. Baby was quite busy with his stuff. I was so lucky cse i've got Mai accompanied me or else I will be dying in bored-ness. Okayy thts way too much , tipu la kan. Haha, anyway thnks to Mai :) Oh and at last, I've got the chance to met Akhil , Rahim's nephew . Auuwwww he is totally adorable, so cuteeeee! Just like the picture tht Rahim showed me bfre. I feel like taking his awy but too bad, the mother need him more than I do, haha. Anyway, congrats Kak Nadia :)

I've got nothing better to do now since i am wide awake and its already 3.15 am in the morning. Well this is suck since he already sleep, so fast, haiyayai. Im on holiday but there's no awesome plan to run off, its gonna be boring tho. I wished i've got plenty of money right now and I can go where ever I want, how lucky am I if im like ones, keep dreaming on baby. Sob.

It sucks when im really missing him but he dnt react exactly the same how I feel.

head up, more coming over

Well today is Saturday , time flies so fast . Yeay , final had over and new sem coming up . Meantime, I'll take this opportunity to get a little rest and have some fun :) so let's recap the entire week.

Lets begin frm last Sunday. Sleepover at suriamas and love came over. We had our wrestling session over there. Urgh like seriously , we're fighting like no mercy. At least i still have some humor sense but him ? He was totally don't care wht was happening. He treated me like a dog , and exactly like on the wrestling show. Okayy it was totally hurt my body but we both really had fun fighting tgthr :)

Marketing paper on Wednesday was urgh erm okay la, so so. But overall if plus minus with my carry mark, I guess im still lack of mark for my pointer. Move on to IT paper. Hrm this paper also was okay la. Not tht bad, but it was the same situation as my Marketing paper. So, let just wait for the results :)

Thursday night was pretty fun even he kinda ruined my night but at least I had some fun with Mai, Fiqa and Qila. Since my exam had over, I can danced all the way free-ing my mind without a second thinking abt wht to study next, heh.

Have to go yawl, Baby's sister wedding :)