Things doesn't happen as I wished . Maybe God set it up and wants me to get better than wht I wish in future. The problem is , shall I wait ? I've tried my best to hold on to this battle , but all I know , im almost to the end . I couldn't stay longer , I have no enough weapon to fight for it. Im looking up for a reasonable reason fr wht has happen but Im still clue-less
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Things doesn't happen as I wished . Maybe God set it up and wants me to get better than wht I wish in future. The problem is , shall I wait ? I've tried my best to hold on to this battle , but all I know , im almost to the end . I couldn't stay longer , I have no enough weapon to fight for it. Im looking up for a reasonable reason fr wht has happen but Im still clue-less
Thursday, July 14, 2011
3 weeks of not seeing u , brings a lot of differences . I can’t imagine how the others who were in long distance relationship managed to cope with it. Don’t u feel lost or weird with the unoccupied space ?
I just need somebody to be love like I used to love with all my heart . I am not asking for someone new , but all I need is the old u . I know and I realised , the feelings wasn’t the same anymore . I just don’t feel the butterflies or the excitement when I see u . But but deep inside, I know tht I miss looking at ur face in reality. There’s just something tht happened which bring so much of changes . U broke my heart wit ur attitude. Don’t u realized u hurting me in that way ? Besides , all I know , tht I am just still waiting for something to happen. Something tht I asked since my birthday, when u were not even here celebrating with me. It was a simple wished , but I don’t knw why its hard for u to make it thru until now . I am not asking u to do something tht ure not capable, but it was really a simple wish . I need something to open up my heart , something tht could bring me the spark when I am with u. Something tht could make me not to give up on loving u. That is all I need.
Long time no see



Life was pretty good in some part of the situation and some was not as I wish to happen . Oh blog , long time no see, I MISS YOU ALOT. Anyway, a gateway to Labuan and Johor kinda loosen up my mind . To forget things tht shouldn’t remain in my mind . All game was pretty awesome . I just miss being all over the place. Life was good at that moment.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Friday, June 3, 2011
Free day
Friday, May 27, 2011
u make me laugh , u make me cried ,
u make me feels like I am the only happy girl in this world , u make me feels the pain tht u put me through ,
u make me feels I am at the top of the mountain , u make me feel down the hill,
u make me to fogive u when u did wrong , u make me as if im reaching the limit to let u go ,
u make me think there is no other option , u make me think twice,
u make me wake up from my sleep and realised tht I am living in a reality where I am in love with the only man which is u, Rahim mohd.
When I first met u , I said to myself , with a person like u , I dnt think I can hold on for so long. But god is fair , trying to prove tht wht ppl tought will not always right without his permission. Bcse everything tht happen has already been wrote by him. Through ups and downs , we have been through alot of things together . The time past by too fast , and I can't believe tht we have already pass our 1 year moment . The truth , we have alot more to learn and to understand each other better. So , I hope we can make it for another year.
As u knw , I'll always love u even we always fight and my heart almost can't be fixed with wht u had done to me but the truth , ur love is so strong and I can't stop from loving u. Thnks for being there for me . I love you , sayang.
HAPPY 1ST YEAR ANNIVESSARY
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Well , I am now turning 19th . No more 18-ish , so kiddy . My birthday went well but not as great as if Rahim could join us celebrating it with me. But I couldn't denied tht if it happen without my friends, it will be worst . Cse they were always with me through ups and downs. Anyway ,I was kinda upset , I couldn't hold up my tears . I was never stop wishing for my boi to come back , came up all out of sudden on my door and surprise me but for god sake, it won't happen cse hes thousand miles away . It is suck when ur special person in ur life are are not with u on ur special day and it was even ur first year annivessary . Too bad , I couldn't ask for more , I have to face it . So please baby, make sure u make me feels like I am the special girl ever in the world when u come back here .
Last but not least, once again , thnkyou for all those who wished and I really appreciate it. Thnks for making my day like Im the only happy person in the world. Love u guys :)
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Transform


At last i've cut my hair after so long wanting it. I din't regret cse it something new after had a same old style of hair :)
Anyway , final exam had already started. Arghh, my first Business Communication paper was being an ass to me. Im so gonna get low mark for it. Oh god, pls not. Tmoro will be my last paper :) Organisation Behaviour paper pls be nice to me. I hope I can do it , wish me luck :)
I am missing you
Oh boy, I just wanna see u on the day u landed here and it is a MUST . The truth , I am the one who scared if I will be the one who couldn’t make it , hmm. Bismillah , I hope I can make it ;’)
Take care ,I Love You sayang <3
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
bitter heart
I might not knw u well, but any miny tiny things tht I knw abt u will always be right.
Friday, May 6, 2011
well-day
Well, I really spend my week with him after I've been left alone by him fr the entire of last week. So yeah, I lock him fr a lil while to really spend my time with him. Today, my class got cancel. It sucks to knw tht after I rushed myself to college and found out the class was cancel. I was so pissed and somemore it was such a hot weather just now. I was actually thought tht I hve to wait for Mai till her class finish but I dnt hve too. So I proceed with my plan to One Utama with my love. When we early and without plan , we starts to walk arnd until we dnt knw where to go. Sucks to knw tht, till nw I dnt really remember places in OU -.-'
Anyway we watched Fast & Furious 5. It was totally awesome. No movie can beat tht ! It is just too good to describe. U guys just have to watch it cse its really worth it. When u watch once, I bet, u will go for twice :)
Im really tired tho, need to sleep and take a long rest. Goodnight :)
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Everything tht happen on tht day and the day bfre was just a like a dissaster to me.
As wht I expected, u always came when there is nothing left. The effort will always make me think twice but for god sake, why it always has to be when its already over ? I just want u to be like when u are really showing up ur effort. Cse I really need it. For me, the effort shows everything. U really driving me crazy, and I almost give up which I actually did but god really shows me the path. I rather be alone crying over the thing tht I shouldn't. Why must we run into all the messed over again and kept listening to the promises, and knowing it will not last long. Ppl will always ask, is it worth it after all ? I will be a statue and speechless and also clueless. God, help me.
Sometimes we just have to leave the person we love for good, but when he really looking back for u, he actually needed u in his life.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
new routine
Its a good date, but its not a good day for me. Well, have to cheer every moment tht passing us by. Life is not always fair, anyhow we tend to be fair. Trying hard to get better moment, but it just hard tho. Things keep changing, that's the problem. When u care, they seems like getting annoyed but when u don't care they goes like , why don't u ask me anymore abt wht am I doing ? Ohgod, life is so pathetic.
Well, I am sort of doing some new routine here fr a healthy life I guess. Oh I started to jog last Monday and it continuously yesterday. Its a good sign, teehee. Farid even taught me how to get rid of the fats arnd my arms. He asked me to have a look at Youtube, so I did since we dnt have a chance to see each other and to teach me that. I've tried it, dammmn it looks so easy but try to do it plsss. Its very tiring tho, I felt like a loser doing it , Zzz. Anyway, I will keep doing the routine till I see any difference towards it.
Happy 11th month Annivessary, ure the one who still remains in my heart, and no one else. Doubt it if u want, but deep inside, im loving u sincerely. Note it .
Have a nice day, and dnt make it a worst day just like me. Goodbye.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
I wanna go, I wanna go

Wednesday, April 20, 2011
working place








Let me tell u something, I am so freaking hungrayy right now and it is so cold here. How can I survive till 10pm ? I actually having an assingment to finish up but urghh , im just not into it. I have to type an essay and I have no brilliant idea right now. So, what should I do now ? Haiyayai. The due date is actually today but I just found out abt it, so yeah , I have to pass it up tomorrow and yet i am still have not start it with a single word at least ? Lalalalalalala
Monday, April 18, 2011
this broadband is pissing me off
Neway, I finished work at 3pm ystrday cse I need to see my boy. I am jst missing him so badly, so yeahhhh I did meet him ystrday. When I was at my working place, I was so cold and keep complaining tht im dying freezing while the rest keep twittering tht they was dying outside by the freaking hot weather. At tht time, I just can't imagine how hot it can be. Well, going back time, I was one step outside of the entrance of Sunway Pyramid, a bit and a bit of the coldness was taken awy. The hot temperature keep on absorbing into my skin. Oh god, I just realized how thnkful I should be when I was in Sunway hour bfre tht and should not complaining abt the cold-ness. Like seriously, the weather was really trying to kill me. Travelled to KL with the maximum aircond-on, all the way and I still can't really feel the aircond, dusssshhhhhhhhhhhh. Bersabar je yg mampu aku lakukan -.-'
Here we go, reached there and met up my boy. Auww really miss him. We went to Ferrenheit had our lunch and went for window shopping at Pavi. We just like wasting our time walk arnd and appreciate every moment of ours, auwwww. Love u baby !
Yeah mcm ni la bila time baik , syg bagai nak rak, bila dh gaduh, apa pn tkda -.-'
Saturday, April 16, 2011
lovely weather
Yeah im at my cribs, loving it. Working at 2pm so I've still have chance to relax fr awhile. Mom is going to Langkawi tmoro fr her work so my Subang's hse gonna be a MAN'S HSE since Kaknah was away and Haris came back fr 4days. Mom gonna be back by Wednesday. Well im gonna stay at Suriamas so I just can't imagine how this hse gonna be in 4 days time. I bet Mama gonna yelling when shes coming back. Lucky me , im not gonna be at home so no yelling at me, yeaaaayyy.
I am just missing my boy. Well he work pretty hard this week. Pity him, hes gonna be tired tho, let him rest then. This week was pretty good I guess, we fought less, anyhow we solve it calmly and not yelling at each other. Hrmm good sign I guess ? Time flies so fast, just can't recall how u managed took my heart awy keep it til now. Even how long we are, I am still having the excited-ness seing u in every each day, hope it stays forever tho.
Maiyayai is away. She went to Bangkok yesterday. I was really forgotten abt her flight, so on Thursday night, I was expected her to be home with me since Fiqa not coming back but I ended up sitting alone at home. I just remember after I got text msg frm her, silly me -.-' Anyway have funn my fren, I knw u gonna shopping till ur jaw drop , haha gonna be impressed with all those stuff there, *hopefully ite ? Gonna miss u, take care along the journey :)
Goodbye Saturday Morning ! :)
Sunday, April 10, 2011
awesome-ness
First of all , I would like to announce that I've alrdy started working, yeah at last after a long searching. It's been 10days I've started working. It is just a small shop selling accessories, Doll Couture. Well the job was pretty easy and flexible enough. My boss was nice , I loiked :) I've got angpaw on my first day frm de boss , cool ite ? Hihi. So far I am quite relaxing with this Job , I've Even got time to study during working hour , awesome huh ? Let's pray that I'll stay longer with this job , wee
Oh so far , I love last week. It just a week that full of kachingg $$. Too bad , it was only last week And not this week , sob . I earn extra income fr being extras in celcom advertisement. It was okay eventhough it was so tiring but we've been given food non stop, so yeah :)
Last night was awesome , SPEEDZONE TOUR 2011. I am so loving it. Had pretty fun time with my girls, my lovely 2 chicks. Eventhough I was pretty messed up with him , but I jst dnt want it to hold my mood just like that . So yeah , I've got my girls and the boys to dance with , so I am happy even the guy that I need the most was not standing by me at all the times , I'm glad I've got my awesome friends. Luckily at the end we get cool tgther, or else I just felt it a waste of time going there tgther when I can be happier when im only with ma frnds. So yeah , we were shooting star like nobody business , I'm glad that it is not wasted for me being there all night long. Jyeahhhh man :)
Anyway , I'm pretty exhausted right now . I've got not enough rest frm yesterday . Penattt nya. I just wanna close the shop ASAP and go back home sleep .Goodbye :)
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Illegally
Anyway, there's alot to talk about since I was not online for quite a long time. Okay I am gonna make it short and clear.
Firstly, my bff, Fiqa was away to Indonesia due to last week. Thankgod she flew away with safe and came back with safe too. According to her story, she was so happy along the journey eventhough she had to went through along the bumpy road with quite an old car, and wht so ever but she managed to get to wherever she wants. I feel happy for her when shes feel great on her vacation :) Duhhhh, shopping at Bandung was awesome, and everybody knows that. She bought me a sandal, cute small coin purse, and ciggy frm there. So sweet of u ,my dear and thnks alot cse I am appreciating it :)
Secondly, I was away to JB last Saturday for attending Rahim's sister's wedding. The journey was ran smoothly eventhough we all had to suffered with the hot aircond for more than 5 hours in the bus. Thanks to Mai for made it for me at the last minute or else i'll be dying alone with all those Makcik's, Zeze. Rahim's family was so nice and I really appreciate it. I was kinda awkward at first but I managed to get along with them. But the neighbour which is those Makciks, Oh goddd, they talked like alot likeee really really alot ! Just imagined after a long journey, everybody could be so tired, but the Makciks can be chit-chating fr so long until the sun rise. Magaaaaddd, aren't u guys are quite old and should be tired and sleeping at that kind of hour ? Zeze. Anyway, we managed to go to Danga Bay. The place , errm quite a sweet place. The place was like sitting at the table besides the sea, erm something like that. Quite a romantic place at night, hihi. There is also funfair over there. It could be sweet if we managed to ride on the couple bicycle, cse it seems like so fun riding on it. But the time was running fast, we had to go back early, so saddddd. Rahim being so sweet eventhough I had to make faces at first, but yeah , he bought me the helium love balloon, so happpppyyyyyyy. I was planning to let it go as soon as I reached KL but so sad when the balloon was already shrink by the time when I reach KL :(
Third, it was my annivesary mannn! Damn, I couldn't believe it when this relationship gonna be my longest relationship so far. So many things to deal with but so far I managed to take it slow even alot of heart feeling here and there. Hope tht we could last long together. I just wanna wish u HAPPY 10MONTH ANNIVESARY BABYY :)
Fourth, magaddddd it is the first week of new short sem ! Time is running fast I guess. So happyyyy ! I just can't wait when end of last sem will shoot me on :) Anyway, short sem wasn't tht great since all my good friends at college was not in the same class anymore. It could be boring but the subject was not tht bad. So i guess, I should learn properly and get good result for this sem. Since it is a short sem, its the time for me to concentrate more and get good grade for this sem *cross finger :)
I guess till here will be more than enough , should upload some pictures when I get my lappy soon which is at home , Zeze. Goodbye :)
Sunday, March 20, 2011
small kid is always cute
I've got nothing better to do now since i am wide awake and its already 3.15 am in the morning. Well this is suck since he already sleep, so fast, haiyayai. Im on holiday but there's no awesome plan to run off, its gonna be boring tho. I wished i've got plenty of money right now and I can go where ever I want, how lucky am I if im like ones, keep dreaming on baby. Sob.
It sucks when im really missing him but he dnt react exactly the same how I feel.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
head up, more coming over
Lets begin frm last Sunday. Sleepover at suriamas and love came over. We had our wrestling session over there. Urgh like seriously , we're fighting like no mercy. At least i still have some humor sense but him ? He was totally don't care wht was happening. He treated me like a dog , and exactly like on the wrestling show. Okayy it was totally hurt my body but we both really had fun fighting tgthr :)
Marketing paper on Wednesday was urgh erm okay la, so so. But overall if plus minus with my carry mark, I guess im still lack of mark for my pointer. Move on to IT paper. Hrm this paper also was okay la. Not tht bad, but it was the same situation as my Marketing paper. So, let just wait for the results :)
Thursday night was pretty fun even he kinda ruined my night but at least I had some fun with Mai, Fiqa and Qila. Since my exam had over, I can danced all the way free-ing my mind without a second thinking abt wht to study next, heh.
Have to go yawl, Baby's sister wedding :)
Saturday, March 12, 2011
why u left me, sob
First, im going to talk abt my Rushel. She passed awy last Monday. I just can't believed it when I received a called frm Mai early in the morning. I was so sad and kinda frustrated at tht time. Since its a gift frm Rahim, I just can't believe tht I neglected my responsible towards Rushel. When I went back to TTDI, I straight awy looked at my turtles, yes its true abt the news. It was so sad looking at Rushell floated upside-down and knowing tht she's dead. I just can't see it anymore and straight awy cleaned the place. I felt so guilty but no matter wht I still have to let Rahim knw abt it, so I did text him and told him abt it. I was freaking crying when he started to blame me abt Rushel's death. I was so pissed off when he was not there when I needed him the most. He can still blamed me instead of comfirt me ? What the hell is tht, urghh. Luckily, he got a pissed frm me and tried to comfirt me back right after tht or else he just gonna get frm me eventhought I knw it was my fault. But at least kan ? Comfirt me la kan ? Not all the way blaming me, aiyayai. Anyway, I really admit tht it was my fault. I miss Rushel, hoped she died in peace :( Im so gonna take a good care of Bobby after this. I'll promised ;'(
Now lets move to a good news. I had quite a rough week , Alhamdullilah I can managed it. I dnt knw why can I just stop fighting with Rahim. There must be something going on, non of the days we can live without arguing. Whataheck man ? But after all, he came for me. We managed to settle down but not all issues. Next day, we started a new scene again, like tafack ? Macam macam la, padahal benda kecik, tak fhm aku. Haih, the worst part is now he's busy with his new gadget. He just received his new BB but pls la weh, everybody has it but its not tht 24 hours eyes on the phone, heh. Besides, he once told me tht wht if im having a BB, I am for sure will be busy with it and started to ignore him but wht says u now ? Isn't it the other way arnd ? Kan kena balik muka sendiri -.-'
He just got back frm Redang, so he bought me a giant turtle to be compare to Bobby and Rushel and a t-shirt from there. He just got to knw that Rushel gonna die and on the other hand, he bought the giant turtle to replace Rushel. It can't be replaced but I really appreciate the turtle bear, it is so cute. So I put it in the car :)
Let's move on, it was my examination week. So far 3 papers are done ! All the 3 subject being so nice to me. I din't do so well but I guess I just did the best out of all. So let just wait and see for the result tho. 2 more paper to go, and I can say tht it was the hardest subject for me. Cse I knw, I dnt study well on those subject cse I dnt really like the subject. But I really dnt want the 2 subject will cause my pointer to drop. I really have to study hard no matter what, 4 more days to go and I believe tht I still have time to cover all the chapter, Insyaallah :)
Hrmm what else huh ? Ohhh, we had our time staying at Suriamas Hotel. Ceyhh konon nya la hotel kan , freaak -.-' So yeah, we managed to stay there peacefully and had our great time on vacation. Such a long time tho, we din't hang out like tht kind of precious time. What more can I say? It just a great time tho.
Not to forget ! Baby just got a new permanent job and he started this morning ! Weeee, I am so happy for him. At last kan kan ? But I think the paid is not worth it for him but as a started he has to be grateful. I knw, hes going to have less time for me after this. I really have to suck it up and deal with it no matter wht. It is for his own good too, so I have to bare with it. Anything for him :')
Last and but not least, VIVA just went out frm the hospital this morning. Went all the way to B. Beruntung to fetch VIVA and brought it safely back. It looks good after the worst accident. Felt so awkward driving it just now, exactly like the first time I drove it a year before. I guess this week im gonna drive it tho, weee
Oh god, this is wht happen when I stop blogging for awhile. Too many things to cramp in a post. I shall stop now, im just too tired waking up early in the morning.
Goodbye :)
Sunday, March 6, 2011
dissapointment
Game against Blacks A jst now was really really a dissapointment. Its not bcse we loose or wht, but hello , aren't we suppose to play full-time ? Just bcse they had to catch up their flight earliar then they had to cut the game off earliar. Come on, this is so unfair ! We knw, we can win this time , haih. Anyhow, it could be the last 15's game for now. Im so gonna miss it, sob. Don't worry, i'll step up this year, gonna work hard, maybe I can try to play 7's this time ? Perghh, angan lebih sgt tp tak slh kan mencuba ? But it is going to be tough tho, heh but i'll try !
So this is it? Silent treatment ? I just can't stay at home, I'll keep thinking. I end it up with nothing. Whats up ?!
Friday, March 4, 2011
struggling
I just feel like screaming out loud, right now, at this hour. I dnt knw whts up with me tho. Did I think too much or just me being so uncapable to go through all these ? I might look happy as if like nthng happen when I talked abt it but deep inside, my heart is struggling to be release and not to remain inside. Everyday, every minutes, every each second, it was so impossible fr me to escape frm any fights. Why it was so hard for me ?
Sometimes, I just miss the old you
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
singapore trips

I went there last Friday night by a car trip. Stayed at my team-mate’s hse at JB since we’ve got game the next day at S’pore. I really had fun in tht game eventhough we lose again -.-‘ But yeah, I really satisfied since coaches and friends said tht im improving :) Thankyou so much.
So yeah, I stayed at S’pore for 1 night just to look arnd S’pore. I explored a bit of S’pore and knws well some part of it now. Thnks to AT to bring me arnd, really appreciate it :)
I miss Rahim a lot when I was there, and I still haven’t meet him until today . So Im so gonna meet him later, teeeheeeeeee. Goodbye :)