Hide and Safe ,

I dnt knw wht to write fr tday but jyeahhh i've been thnking to write abt how i feel all this while. Sometimes i like to share my feelings with the ppl surrounded but sometimes i jst scared to share it with . I hide it right inside of my heart and locked it safely bcse not all ppl can accept how i felt but sometimes i jst love to show it but nvr say it . And my mood are so unpredictable , sometimes i can be so happy , sometimes i can be so moody , sometimes i feel like i wanted to cry vry badly and sometimes i feel like i wanna laugh till im exhausted of air .

I feel like i wanna hve a diffrnt thng in my life but at the same time im not ready for a brand new thng . Im bored with all the same damn thng tht happen to me , why its alwys not my luck . Why all ppl can hve their great time with their loves one , why not me ? Why can they hve a prson tht they can spend evry single second with , why not me ? Why can they hve a prson fr late nite talk , why not me ? Why can they alwys hve a good relationship , why not me ? Wtfick . I dnt blame anyone , jyeahh it is just a fate tht i hve to face . But still , its alwys my fault cause by my stupidness . Im blaming myself dude , satisfied ?

Jyeahh , I loved to pretend tht i am okay while im not *evrbdy does tht , but they got to know it sooner or later . Suck ! Haih , i've been thking a lot of things tht none benefit me and doesn't counted me at all . Im always concerned abt wht will ppl feel without knowing tht im the one who will hurt the most at the end . Make frnds happy are such way more important thngs to me even im the one will hurt . Its the bst way tho . Sometimes i help ppl in prblms , cheer them up but at the same time im the one who in full of prblms bt i've tried so hard to cover it up and pretend to be alright and help to solve their prblm to make them feel better . I can hide my feelings but not at all times . Ppl wont bothering abt my feelings cse they dnt notice it at all bcse u know why ? Cse im the bst actress evr , yeahhhhhhh . But yeahh its hurt so much when u tried to hide ur feelings too deep inside when there's no one care abt it but it is the best for all . I hide it so it will be the safest . Well im strong enough to handle it tho . Rockkk on bbeyh ! Its a beautiful lieeeeeeeeeee :*(

After all , i've thinked tht i use to advise ppl a lot but when it comes to me , i was like so out of idea . Urghhh , tht is so fcking difficult for me . I hate it . Its okayy , im fine . I can try harder next time . I wont be foolish arnd in future . I'll be the greatest person evr with a great feelings and being lucky too . I'll be the bomb tht explode till the world dissapear , thnks

xx love, liyana